Four chairs on the game earlier
With newer and newer sexual kinks and perversions appearing on websites, I have been left wondering where it will all end? Yesterday I was emailed by Sid Lovejoy who claims hes broken the mold of pornography - here comes FURNITURE PORNOGRAPHY!
I Asked Sid to explain himself, he told me "Whether its an mature oak sideboard with its drawers ajar, a self assembly pine wardrobe with its doors open, or perhaps an ash dining chair with detachable seatcovers, their all begging for it."
"Last week I met a couple of willow cricket bats and they couldn't get enough, I have a 16th Century bible box at home and it keeps begging for more and more, it just won't stop."
"Try locking yourself in a 1950's wooden blanket box for six hours, believe me, you'll have a lot of fun. For added excitement I threaten them with "Mr Sheen" furniture polish, all quality furniture loves wax and they loathe aerosol products, you'll have them doing anything you want in seconds"
"A word of warning though, don't make it with a seaside deckchair, they have pretty low morals and you'll probably catch something nasty! Also sideboards like to lock their cupboards just to tempt you to open them and chairs always like to show more leg than is recommended"
Furniture - the future of pornography, or an unstable mans sexual fantasies? You decide!The internet's top furniture porn site